Thanks again for your sweet words and prayers for me last week. They sure gave me strength for the battle. God spoke through you over and over to me, and I feel like a bigger victory has been fought and won in this arena. Here's the highlights:
Though the battle has been raging in different forms since I was a child, the arena the enemy chose was my weight. This is a new arena for me. I was always little and skinny till a few tears...I mean years ago.
Last Friday the enemy decided that this area was a great point of attack. Instead of losing weight after working hard on a new strategy for 10 days, I had gained 4 pounds. This sent me back to the "Ugly Pam War."
I was losing ground bad. Because this weight battle is new to me, I did not have the logical knowledge or emotional strength to stand on...so I cried out to God because truthfully this kind of battle isn't won by knowledge or sound emotions, but by the Lord!
He sent friends to my rescue! A call from my BFF who is an on-the-side nutrition buff (the woman grinds her own wheat!) to give me knowledge. I did not know that our bodies will sometimes fight changes in diet, by adding pounds before it adjust to the change, and you start to lose. She also spoke truth to the lies in my flesh. She was harsh at times, but she knows I can take it and I know she is doing it out of love....Thank you Paula!
He instructed me to ask you for prayer and did you ever come through! Your love and encouragement for someone most of you have never even seen, was amazing and made me realize again that true beauty has nothing to do with the skin or fat I live in now.
My husband who can be one of my worst critiques in this area, (he always tells the truth even when he knows it will hurt) told me I looked beautiful when he walked in the door...he had no idea of the battle I was facing at the time.
But this morning was when the battle finally stopped. It came as words out of my mouth to my daughter, but the rebuke was actually for me. My daughter is taking swimming lessons. She is afraid of the water and this has been a long battle. Last year she just would not jump in or go under.
I bribed. Didn't work.
I threatened. Didn't work.
Finally with only two days left in the lessons, I prayed (should have been 1st on my list) and God gave me a verse for her. I found it while at a stoplight on the way, and handed it to her in the back and said, "READ." She read it. It was Isaiah 43:1,2 & 4a. When she was through she looked at me and asked, "Is He really in the water in the deep end of the pool, mommum? This says, He wont let me drown. Is He really there?" We talked about the verse and that morning she jumped in!
We are back at swimming lessons again this year and in our 2nd week. This morning she started acting afraid again. Even though, she now can float and swim under water, she started to be afraid of jumping into the deep end. I looked at her and said, "Stop! This is a "Fear" battle that you have already fought and won with God's help. Do not go back to fight battles God has already defeated for and through you!" The words hit me hard as I said them. This battle of "Ugly Pam" has been fought and won, no matter what form or new dart the enemy wants to throw at me, about my body and looks.
So sisters cheer with me as I stand today vowing to shout to the enemy next time he tries to bring this battle up..."This one has already been won... if you don't believe me, take it up with God!"
I will not knowingly go back and fight a battle that God has already deemed victorious.
As for Zoie and swimming lessons....she jumped in 6 times in a row!
Isaiah 43:1, 2, and 4a
"Now this is what the Lord says---the One who created you, Jacob, and the One who formed you, Israel. Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by your name; you are Mine.
I will be with you when you pass through the waters, and when you pass through the rivers, they will not overwhelm you. You will not be scorched when you walk through the fire, and the flame will not burn you.
Because you are precious in My sight and honored, and I love you."
Thanks again. I love you precious daughters of God!