Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Shaken Not Stirred

I am being shaken like a morocco in a mariachi band!  The good thing is that even though it does not feel is for my good.

I have had a lot of shaking events this year, that have left me searching, exhausted, and even wounded.  Here are some of the highlights:

My husband had 3 kidney stone procedures during February and March which left us with huge medical bills.

I lost my job.

Then on our Army Chaplain Conference/vacation, I fell...while running with Zoie...and broke my shoulder in 3 count them 3 places....a minimum of 13 weeks healing time then physical therapy and or possible surgery.

These things, compiled on top of each other, left me feeling both helpless and hopeless.  I cried out to God and lamented much like King David in the Psalms or the prophets of old.  "How long, O LORD!"  or in the Hebrew " "Admathay Adonay!" (pronounced Ad-ma-tye A-do-nie!) It is said as a wail or shouting cry from the heart.

One night, I sat here in my office wailing to God...because of the pain in my shoulder, the pain of worrying over our finances, the pain of losing the job I so dearly loved, but mostly the pain of feeling helpless and alone.  You can't help but feel helpless when you can't even go to the bathroom by yourself!

GOD took me to Hebrews 12...Yeah, the God loves those HE disciplines chapter.  I did not feel that GOD was telling me all these things were punishment...that is not the GOD I know and love.  I do believe HE was letting me know that there are some things in my life that needs to go....not as punishment but as cleansing, healing, and for my training as HIS child.

As I read these words, instead of feeling condemed, or punished, I felt an overwhelming since of GOD'S love for me.  This time of "helplessness" would only be for a moment but the righteousness it produceses will last for eternity!  Hebrews 12:25-28 says (in my own paraphrase) to heed GOD'S words carefully as HE shakes me until all that is left is what cannot be shaken.

I bowed in awe and expectation, absorbing and drowning in the love I suddenly felt.  HE loves me enough to shake me until all that is what can never be shaken!

Thank YOU GOD!  Shake on!  I am surrendering to being a morocco in the hands of THE GREATEST PERCUSSIONEST and even though it hurts...the music is becoming more beautiful everyday! 

Thursday, April 14, 2011

Battle Between Two Kingdoms

The battle lines are drawn. The two kingdoms are set to fight. The only question left is who will win in the end. Will the Kingdom of Icandoit or the Kingdom of Idon’twantto reign supreme. Both of these kingdoms are powerful with many influences throughout the area. Both kingdoms want full control and there can be no area of compromise. These two kingdoms cannot coexist in the same place. One will reign, the other will be banished. They may have to fight again another day but each time the winner will take all. Who will win? The ground they are fighting for is control of our own wills. We alone can decide the winner. Will you live in the kingdom of I-can-do-it or be ruled by the I-don’t-want-to’s? The battle is won by a simple decision, yet the tactics of the army’s in both camps can be strong.

Let’s start with the army of the Idon’twantto’s. Some of the weapons used are that of complacency, apathy, laziness, insecurity and fear. These weapons are powerful and will cause us to not trust our King or do our best. These weapons hinder us from meeting our goals and expectations. They cause us to doubt our abilities which leads to not trying and giving up. Ultimately the goal of the reign of the Idon’twanto’s is to stop us from succeeding and accomplishing the plan God has for each of us in His Ultimate and Eternal Kingdom.

There are also strong weapons in the Kingdom of Icandoit. In this kingdom the weapons of choice are determination, adaptability, focus, perseverance, patience, and one that at first seems unusual…
This last weapon is the most powerful and most successful in our being able to succeed the goals God has planned for us. But loss-of-control when turned over to God is the atomic power of this battle. It secures victory and becomes the strongest shield against any weapon thrown our way.

 This battle is not won by hand-to-hand combat, but a simple decision. Who will you believe? Will you choose to live with the Idon’twantto’s or the I candoit’s? One last bit of information before you decide; The kingdom of the Idon’twantto’s will bring about self-doubt, discouragement and failure. While, the kingdom of the Icandoit’s will bring you confidence, success and peace.

Today you must choose. Will you say “I don’t want to” or will you shout in victory “I can do it!” Have faith and believe God’s word as it says “I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.” Philippians 4:13. Because there is a secret about the kingdom of Icandoit…it’s true name is the kingdom of

I wrote this for our school newsletter last year.  I am struggling today and have been residing in the Kingdom of Idon'twanto!  God lead me to this article and I it encouraged me so much, I had to share it with you.
I am going to go abide now in the Kingdom of Icandoit.  I plan on swimming in the pool of faith and resting in the palm of my King Adonai's Hand!
Love Ya!

Friday, April 8, 2011

This is a Test

This is a test.

 It is only a test.

 My blog has been doing something Weird

 So I am testing something out.



Hi Y'all, What do you think about my new blog look? My friend Amy McNeil helped me. She is awesome! She is an excellent blogger and a beautiful example of a God lead mother, wife and friend! Thank you Amy! Now to more's: New do's are happening over here at our house. New hair-do....I'm letting it go a picture soon. New husband...not really...he is a new Army Chaplain now! Finally! New mom/daughter relationship...had to adjust...middle-schoolers are a lot more difficult! New this one! More on this one soon! God has totally blessed us! New attitudes....Thank you Lord! I was struggling there for a while, now I'm new too! What is your new do? Pamela Oh! If you want to connect with Amy you can find her here

Saturday, April 2, 2011

Six Word Story

Hi Y'all, She Reads has a scholarship for the She Speaks Conference going that is really interesting. I thought I might give it a try. So here is my six word story. To enter yourself go here Flag, coffin, her husband bequeathed freedom. She Speaks is a conference for women who want to serve women for God's kingdom. It is an amazing conference and you can read a little about my own experiences there in the post below. If you want to know more go here I am going this year even if I don't win a scholarship. We don't have the money at the moment but I know that God will provide. I've already registered. Because faith is believing even in the unseen. Prayer request: Mike has gone to his 1st reserve drill. He began Chaplain duties today. I am so proud. Please pray that he will be a blessing and minister to these fine men and women who serve our country and may someday have to bequeath freedom. Love you all Pamela

Thursday, March 10, 2011

Still Walking in Pink Pumps!

Hi Y'all!
I looked at the website, a tear slowly crept out of the corner of my eye and fell on the keyboard. For 5 years I had looked at the site, hoping, praying, wondering and yes, even crying with desire to go, but knowing that I was not worthy. Who was I kidding?

Then, through a series of events including God having Lysa TerKeurst tell my husband to make me go. I attended my first She Speaks conference years ago. Terrified does not even begin to describe the elephant dance that was going on in my tummy. Forget butterflies! I prayed, I cried, I told my husband Mike I was NOT going! He put me in the car, kissed me, and said, "See ya Sunday afternoon." He had taken Lysa seriously!

God took Lysa seriously too! HE showed up! I was touched in so many ways physically and spiritually. I was blessed by the speakers, challenged, encouraged and even got to wear Zoe Elmore's hot pink pumps! Rachel Olson and Zoe held me up in the shoes I had always dreamed of having on my feet. Cerebral palsy does not allow for pretty shoes. God taught me through this experience that helplessness is where HE sometimes needs us to be.

That year God used She Speaks to change my life! I am a better speaker, my ministry has grown, but not like my flesh would have hoped. I still only have 2-3 engagements a year. Believe me when I tell you...that is not why I go! If your only goal is to sell your ministry, book, or network will accomplish those goals at She Speaks, but you will miss out on far richer blessings. Go and meet Jesus there! I come home refreshed from being in HIS prescience. Every year I have heard from HIM! Fallen more in love with HIM! And understood HIS love for me in new and extreme ways!

I have attended 3 of the last 4 She Speaks conferences, and God has SHOWN UP to work in me, to me and through me! Last year I could not afford to attend because of financial reasons. I cried and prayed, but there was no way to pay for the conference. As the days drew near, my heart ached to be there. A few weeks before the conference God opened a window. A friend from Arizona posted that she would be attending. I asked her if she needed a ride from the airport. She said yes! I ended up picking up and shuttling 2 wonderful ladies to the conference and back to the airport! Finally, I was able to give to this conference instead of just receiving! It was a blessing! Though I missed the conference sessions and the complete experience. I feel I was able to live out and give away the blessings that had been given to me.

This year too our finances are tight. I am not sure I will be able to attend. Lysa has offered scholarship on her blog and I like many others am hoping to win. More so I am praying that God will supply by HIS grace a chance to go and meet HIM there again. I do know this...whether I attend or not...I again will shuttle ladies to and from the airport. I want to live out loud the blessing I have received from being a part of this ministry..all the while wearing my HOT PINK SHOES!

Sunday, January 16, 2011

Oh My Word!

Hi Friends,

In recent weeks, two events have created a desire for me to make changes in my life. One was seeing my old house (check out last post). Seeing what happens when a house is neglected and not kept up-to-date caused me to look anew at my own home.

The other event was a conversation Zoie and I had that has left me stunned and disturbed. It started with a simple question that I asked her...really off-handedly. "What are some things you see in my life that point you to God?" Her answer sort of took the life out of me. "You teach me right from wrong." I sat there a minute processing her words. So I asked her, "That's funny, you didn't mention things like prayer and Bible study...Why?" She continued, "Mom, I know you do those things. I just don't see asked me what I saw. I see you have devotions with the family. I see you pray with us every night. I don't see you do those things by-yourself."


If my own daughter does not see me reflecting God...then what kind of dull image am I reflecting of HIM to the World? I do pray and read HIS word...But I've been too private about it.


I have been busy updating my two dwellings. I am rearranging furniture in my home. I've looked at the space and taken the advice of some people who are good at this sort of thing...the one's who have designer's my mom. Every room in my house is getting some sort of update. It may be as little as moving a picture or clearing a shelf to doing a major over-haul like in Zoie's room...every stick of furniture was moved.

This week, while looking through a dictionary for my class I teach, I came across a new word. The word is "Transmogrification."

It means changing something to the fantastic or bizarre.

To do this I am turning to another designer's heart...actually HE IS THE ONLY TRUE DESIGNER! The earth and everything in it is the only complete designer-original. Every other designer has to use HIS scraps! (giggle, giggle...)

That's what God is doing in the place where HE and I dwell...My heart. I am being Transmogrified into the fantastic and bizarre creation HE wants me to be. We are rearranging attitudes, cleaning out some self-centered issues...which like dust seems to collect everyday on the surface of my heart. We are de-cluttering my thoughts so that what is being stored there is more like HIS thoughts.

I want to be changed to the fantastic and bizarre because HE IS!

I want my house to look better and reflect the values and beliefs of my family....I want God to transmogrify my heart to reflect HIS values and beliefs.

My house will once again clutter up because people live there. So will my heart because my self lives there too. But here's the I lay out the plans, direct the ideas, and my family works together....we can continue to update, refurbish and rearrange so that our house will reflect us well. With my heart, I must work with God to do the same thing. HE will layout the plans. HE will direct the ideas. HE will complete the job. I must spend time with HIM, listen to HIM and obey HIM. The more it is all about HIM the more it will be all about HIM!

2 Corinthians 3:18 says "And all of us have had that veiled removed so that we can be mirrors that brightly reflect the glory of the Lord. And as the Spirit of the Lord works within us, we become more and more like HIM and reflect HIS glory even more." NLT

Why don't you grab a dust pan, a mirror, your Bible and let's get TRANSMOGRIFIED!

Love ya,

Tuesday, January 4, 2011

That's Where I used to Live!

Hi Friends!

I grew up in only two houses. I lived in one till I was four and I honestly don't remember much about that one. The other house, I lived in from the age of four until I was 24! It is as Miranda Lambert sings about, "the house that built me." My parents moved from that house when I was in my early 30's. I love where they live now and it instantly became home. I'll tell you about my parent's home another time.

Mike, Zoie and I moved back to my home town almost seven years ago. As we drive by the old home place, I find myself saying, "I used to live there." Driving to my parents on Christmas eve this year, I looked at my old house and noticed a "For Sale" sign. I asked Mike to pull over and I jotted down the number of the agent on the sign. A couple days later, I called and asked to see the house. I was so excited! I knew there had been some add-ons made and I could not wait to see the changes on the inside. Even as we pulled into the drive, things felt familiar. I drew in a deep breath and for a brief second, felt like I had come home from a long trip. We walked to the front door and stepped into what had always been my favorite room...the formal living room.


I had expected the house to be a little run down, after all... it was over 50 years old! But this was heart breaking! There had been changes to the outside of the house...updates...some good...some not so good. But the inside of the house had not changed...It was stuck in the 70's and 80's era. I vaguely heard the agent talking about the hard wood floors, as I walked around what had once been an elegant, peaceful, GOD-filled room, that now stood half empty and discarded. The agent went on to explain about a very bad, brown and green carpet in the great room. I kind of snorted out a half laugh as I said, "It wasn't green when I lived here." Soon we were walking into the kitchen and my heart sunk further. Although it had been painted, it too had been neglected. Then into the dinning room... it was the only room that looked like with just a coat of wax on the would be as good as new. I looked toward the great room and a tear ran down my face. The green and brown carpet that the agent had talked about... WAS the same carpet that my parents had put in there...only then it had been brown, orange and beige. The rest of the house was no better. Where seeing the same carpets and layouts of the rooms should have brought back fond memories, it only broke my heart more to see that nothing much had changed. I was flooded with childhood memories...all good by the way...and I shared them with Mike, Zoie and the patient agent. After we left, I cried because of the neglect. Why had they not taken care of the house?

My parents would have never let that house grow old like that. They constantly changed it while I was growing up, to fit the times. They had added on, updated, redesigned the cabinets... every couple of years our house was freshly painted and something was changed. It was always a showcase and beautiful.

It made me think about my own house...not the building I live in...but my spiritual house. The one where CHRIST dwells within me. Have I just kept up the outside with neglect to the inside? Have I tried too hard to keep it as it was 20 years ago? I often think back to my days as a young excited seminary student, who wanted to witness to the world! How many times have I tried to "decorate" my spiritual house by using the same kind of old stories and disciplines? Our relationship with GOD should be ever changing...always being updated to what is happening now...not what worked in the past.

I don't want to ever go back and live in the house where I used to live...physically or spiritually!
UPDATE ME LORD!!!! I need a relationship with YOU that is HERE, NOW, TODAY and exactly right with the times!

I think it is time to UPDATE And REDECORATE! I've got some ideas...wanna join me and let the ultimate designer give us an EXTREME MAKE-OVER!

Love Ya!