Monday, July 13, 2009

King of The Living Truth VS. King of The Almost

Hey Y'all!

I am back with the final chapter of the "Almost Story."

I lay there on his floor, scared and crying. I was too paralyzed to move and yet too scared not too. I didn't know what to do. Couldn't even fathom what had just happened. The person I trusted the most had just become my attacker...my enemy.

I could hear him in the other room. He was screaming....begging God not to strike him dead. His cries disgusted me. On one hand, I wished God would strike him dead and yet on the other I already knew that God loved him.

I prayed and cried. Then I got up, surprised that I could stand. I walked into the room where he was still screaming. I tapped him on the back and said, "God is not going to strike you dead! You hurt me. I forgive you, but you need help! You are going to call a counselor right now and set up an appointment or you are going to jail!" He knew I meant it. He called the counselor. He went...but I do not know if he ever confessed the truth or not.

We stayed together for two more months and stayed best friends for two more years. This is where the enemy sent his worst lie yet. Because I did not do what I had always believed I would do in a case like this, I began to believe myself to be weak and worthless. Not deserving any better.

You see I had been raised in a strong family. Where both the men and women took care of their own. The legends in our family had been of women who took no crap and were just as tough or tougher than the men. Like my Great-Aunt Hallie Mae, who married at 16 years old. They had to live with her in-laws starting off. Her father-in-law was bad to drink and then beat up on his family. He came home one night drunk and started beating on Aunt Hallie's husband. She picked up a butcher knife in one hand and then slammed her father-in-law against a wall with the other. With the butcher knife at his throat, she warned him that if he ever came home drunk around her again, she would kill him. He never came home drunk again...in fact gave up drinking all together and got his life right with the Lord. Not exactly what we should do today...but you get the picture.

Yet, I had not only not fought back enough, I had forgiven and stayed with this man. I was ashamed of my own actions. I did not want my family to know that I was that weak. This was a lie! The biggest lie in my "Almost." It was not weakness that had me stand and go to this man that day. It was not weakness that said the words, "I forgive you." It wasn't weakness that forgave him again 12 years later when he asked for it anew. It isn't weakness that has finished the forgiving and healing now. We forgive what we know to forgive and as God reveals more we forgive those also. That is strength! God's strength! My family confirmed this after I told them a few weeks ago. They think I'm strong! I know its God!

Our enemy loves the "Almost" events in our lives. Here is where he can lie the most and with the biggest whoppers! When the worst happens. We deal with it much better than when the "Almosts" happens. Maybe because it already is the worst, not something that could have or should have happened...it already did happen! So the enemy lies to us in our "Almost" by distorting the facts and twisting the truth. By leading us to feel shame instead of peace and weakness instead of strength. Do you know why he loves the "Almost?" Because he is the King of the "Almosts!" The angel who was "almost" like God. He distorted the truth in the "almost" then and he distorts it our "almost" now. The Truth is that he will never be an "almost" at anything. He is nothing.

God healed me of my "Almost" and continues to strengthen me in His Truth.
Ask God if you have been lied to about an "Almost" in your life. Ask him to help you forgive. Ask Him where He was and what was He saying to you? Then trust His perspective, His truth. Because God is truth and with Him there is never an "Almost" about anything!

Thanks so much for allowing me to share this with you. I know it was heavier and more serious in nature than you are used to reading here. I thank you for reading, praying and encouraging me. You are all a blessing. I love you.

Pamela

10 comments:

Chatty Kelly said...

Thank YOU Pamela for sharing this with us. It was a blessing. I think you are very strong.

Runner Mom said...

Oh, girl! Bless your heart! Thank you for sharing what had been inside for so long. God is so good.I agree with Kelly--you are so strong!!

Lots of hugs!!
Susan

Rachel Olsen said...

Very powerful story, Pamela!

So touching how God sets His people free from sin - theirs but also other people's.

You are precious.

Look forward to seeing you.
~ Rachel

On Purpose said...

Praising God for the work He will do through you living out life to bring glory and honor to Him! Pamela...He will continue to do great things in you and through you! I feel more than blessed to know He is victorious in ALL things!

Edie said...

Wow Pamela. I know it took a lot of courage to share this story with us. I am so sorry for what you went through but so glad that God revealed Himself strong to you and has healed you. Glory to His Name.

Love you!!

Kimberly said...

I really do despise the enemy. So much.

I am so thankful for the Father. For how He loves on us. For how He brings healing. For how He reveals truth.

My e-mail address is linked to my comment. Feel free to e-mail me any time!

And who knows, Pamela, in your willingness to be so open here, God could be using your posts to start healing in someone else's life. I love how He can take all that we have been through and use it for good. What a mighty and precious God we serve.

Love to you!
K

Leebird said...

I didn't read your blog because I want to go back and read the first part first! But, I wanted to tell you how excited I am to get to hug your neck at She Speaks! We are getting into town Thursday night. We being myself and my best friend from high school, Kristy (Kristy's Adventure Blog). Can't wait to see you! I have you cell phone, so I'll call ya!

My ADHD Me said...

Thank you for sharing this.
You can't imagine how much reading something like that has helped me.
Thank you/

Marilyn in Mississippi said...

I came here from seeing one of your comments on another blog. I'm so glad because I have gotten such a blessing from reading your blog today. I have sat here for 15 or 20 minutes just soaking up your testimony of forgiveness and grace, etc, etc.

I will be back soon to visit more!

God bless you!

Marilyn.....in Mississippi

Tea With Tiffany said...

God is using your pain for HIS gain and glory. I am so thankful to read your story. I will probably be sharing a part of mine in more depth soon too. God is asking me to reveal more of my personal pain to help others who need it.

Sending hugs from Colorado,

Tiffany