Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Meanwhile....Back at the Bible Study

Hey Y'all,

I am so sorry it took me so long to get back here.
It has been a weird, prayerful....prayerful....did I say prayerful....week.
I have been fitted for my brace and will get it in about a week. It was hard to say the least, but God was there and that made it easier. Thank you so much for the prayers and words of encouragement. They have been overwhelming.

I realized something through this process. God's timing and sense of humor can not be matched. Here I am doing a Blog Bible study on what God thinks of us....our identity through His eyes. I wanted to do this to get a truthful understanding (As much as possible this side of Glory) of my own identity. So here I am in the third verse of this study, when I find out about having to once again wear a brace. Here's what God has done....He has shown me that my interpretation of myself....my identity...is completely entwined with my Cerebral Palsy (CP). Truth is...that's just a part of who I am. But in my mind...every blessing, every trial, everything is wrapped tightly in my C.P. Want some examples?

God gave me the parents I had because of my CP
God turned the heart of a wonderful and handsome young man so that he'd be willing to marry a girl with CP.
God blessed me with understanding of being someone with a special need so that is what makes me a great consultant/writer for those with special needs.
God gave me a "Normal" healthy child because I had CP.
Everyone who knows me describes me first as "Pamela, you know the one with the limp...the handicapped woman."

Okay, listen carefully. None of these are true! Yes! God has blessed me with gifts for working and helping those with special needs. I do have a different kind of understanding because of my CP. BUT! My gifts are not because of my CP or even in spite of my CP. They are because God chose to give them to me. My parents were not chosen for me based solely on the fact I would have CP. Instead God Gave them the tools/gifts they would need for me...with or without CP.
Mike did not marry me as a pity for a girl with CP. He married me because he loves me. (We talked about this a lot this week....wow! I would have landed Mike with or without CP!)
Zoie was not born healthy based on anything about me....she is God's design and has nothing to do with me...except she blesses me with or without CP. And as for everyone describing me as the lady with the limp...according to several friends I've confronted about this....not even on their radar. Would not make the top 30 describing words they would use for me. In fact, you should have seen the look on their faces when I asked! How about that?

Had God not allowed me to go back into the brace, I would not have known these had been core beliefs/lies of mine. In some ways I was not even existing, but was instead some big old wad of CP.

So this Bible study is helping me to discover a new me...or should I say the real me. As I posted last time I am a child of God according to John 1:12. He has given me that right/ power. And with that right comes every blessing the King of Kings can give His child. (With or without CP!)I will post a new verse next post.

Thank you for listening and your prayers.

Now I must leave you with one more:
We got word yesterday from our recruiter that we have once again missed the deadline. We will not be going before the December boards, so all hope for the January school is now gone. We are now looking toward the February boards and the June school. Continue praying for us and we are continuing to believe that God is leading and providing during this journey.

I love you all!


On Purpose said...

Praying with you and trusting in His perfect timing! You are beautiful my friend..because thats how our Creator designed you! Happy Thanksgiving to you, Mike and Zoie.

ps Hugs Miss Zoie girl! How is school going?

Mrs. CP said...

Pamela, I'm so sorry to hear you all didn't make the December board. Did your recruiter explain what was missing or what happened? I hope you have a blessed Thanksgiving today and I will look forward to the February boards with you!