First---Please pray for me again this weekend. I leave tomorrow afternoon to do another conference near Asheville. It is a NC--WMU conference held at Ridgecrest Conference Center. I am both excited and nervous. Also, Zoie has been sick this week with some sinus stuff. She is suppose to do a devotion in chapel tomorrow morning for the 4th-6th graders at her school. That is---if she can go to school tomorrow. It is so hard to leave with her not feeling so good. But I'm leaving her in good hands...God's first...Mike's second...and my Mom's third. Your's too as you pray for us.
Now to my story.
Have you ever had a situation arise where after it was over you came up with the perfect words. A Coulda said this...Shoulda said that...then this Woulda happened....kind of thing.
This happened to me this past weekend. I had a confrontation with a friend. It left everyone involved upset and on edge. I know the words I spoke were from the Lord. I know because it wasn't what my flesh wanted to say. As I spoke the words my flesh is fighting hard and at the end started to gain back the control it wanted. Just at that moment, another person directed by God stepped in and I was hushed before I stated what was on my fleshly mind. I know that the words spoken in the Spirit brought peace and truth to the situation. For that I am so grateful to the Holy Spirit!
Then came the hard part! Speaking the words of the Spirit is sometimes easy....living it is hard. For several days afterward I lived in the land of Coulda, Shoulda, Woulda. It made me doubt if the words I did say were of the Spirit. What if I shut up too soon? What if I had said this...? Even scripture poured into my mind that I shoulda said! Woulda said...if I had not been interrupted. These woulda been good things to say. Woulda also been the truth. Coulda made more people aware of the truth.
Thank God...He stepped in and taught me a new truth. He used the Garden of Eden. The tree that Eve swiped the forbidden fruit from was not called....are you listening?....This is important...it was not called the "Tree of the Knowledge of Evil." That's what we focus on. The Knowledge of Evil! It is called, "The Tree of The Knowledge of GOOD and Evil." Oh...how often I have bitten of that tree! I take a bite of the good fruit instead of God's fruit. I so know how to be good. I soooo want to be good. I often mistake being good for being in right relationship with God. But the good of that tree is good apart from God. Did you get that? The good fruit on that tree separated Adam and Eve from God. It separates my fellowship from God.
Folks, being good, doing what is good, saying the right things and even being right about things...all seem good. But if they are apart from God then my good...Yes...even my best is still just a clanging gong...filthy rags.
In my situation this past week, the coulda, shoulda woulda's that I would have said and done would have been good. They would have been the truth. They would have even been Biblical. But they also woulda have been wrong....because they were not from God. No matter how God-like they would have looked.
Thank You God for stopping me. Thank you that I did not get the chance to say or do the coulda, shoulda, woulda's! I don't know the outcome of this situation. But this I know....God was there...God was in control...I was about to mess it up...by doing good.
No more coulda, shoulda, woulda's....no more good apart from God! This means I need to even test the good against God's wants and desires. For only HIS GOOD is truly good!
Love you guys!