As you know 2009 has been a tough year so far. God has been so good to us even though our world has crumbled, changed and shook to the ground.
He is the God of rebuilding! But know this...at least I believe this...when God rebuilds it will never again crumble! So often, He has to break us completely down in order for our true selves He created to break forth.
God has changed both Mike and I.... and is still changing us. Mike is completing the paper work to enter the Army as an army chaplain. We are hoping he can get into the officer's/chaplain's school either in June or September. This change in our lives may be our biggest, our most challenging and most exciting move ever.
A dear friend of ours keeps reminding me that the safest place to be is right where God wants you. ,
All this change has caused us to seek healing and counseling. Through it, I have discovered a lot of wrong thinking about myself and how God sees me. What about you?
Having been born with a birth defect and other physical limitations, somewhere I have concluded that I was broken. I believe that God knit me together broken, yet on purpose. Like the blind man that the disciples asked Jesus about in John 9.
This may be true... and it may not...I am trying to re-evaluate this idea. Whatever the truth is...this truth I have recently discovered.
I'm not broken! I became whole the moment I asked Jesus to be my Savior! He has made me whole! I don't have to wait till heaven...I am whole now. While it is true that I may have to wait till heaven to receive some of the benefits of being whole...I am whole now!
Last week Mike and I were given an assignment by our counselor...We were to ask God what He thought of us personally. We were to sit for 30 minutes and listen to what God said to us.
I'd like to share what I heard. It changed my thinking, it changed my heart, and I pray it will impact you too.
What is your opinion of me?
You are mine!
I love you. Do you hear that bird outside? I love you more. I made you...every bit of you. There is so much you think I don't like about you...but you are wrong. These things you do are not you. No more than being a teacher is you....daughter, you are more than that...you are beautiful to Me. Your heart is so tender. That My daughter is why you get so emotional at people and for people. I made you that way!
It hurts me when you don't meet the potential I gave you...but not like you think. I do not see you as failing, wasted, or broken. My daughter you are just bent.
You bend too often to the wrong things and thoughts, instead of toward me.
I WILL NEVER MAKE ANOTHER YOU! I LOVE YOU LIKE NO OTHER.
I made you smart...now bend toward Me.
I made you kind...now bend toward Me.
I made you strong...now bend toward Me
I made you helpless..now bend toward Me
I made you funny...now bend toward Me
I made ALL OF YOU Pamela...now bend toward Me!
I love you...YOU ARE NOT BROKEN.....YOU ARE MINE!!!
I don't know if God talks to you like this...the words you hear may be more refined or grammatically correct than I have written here. But this is what I heard. It spoke to the very broken part of my heart and I heard that I am not broken!
I am bent!
I want to bend toward HIM!
What about you? What is God's opinion of you?
Mine is that....I love you.