It is Halloween.
Many people love to dress up in scary costumes. Why is it that we like to be scared?
These activities are designed for the fear or thrill. They entertain us. They make us scream and in many ways, once they are over, we even feel more alive.
However, the things that terrify us will never entertain us. I am terrified of a lot of things!
Some of the usual things, such as spiders, snakes, fire, things that go bump in the night, and for me a biggie is chickens!
Yes, I said chickens! I love to eat them. I'm just afraid of them while they are alive.
I was attacked by a mean rooster when I was fourteen. He ripped my jeans and tried flogging me in my face. I fought hard but was loosing the battle like the Redcoats on Kings Mountain. Then my mom suddenly appeared and hit that old rooster with a mop. My dad caught him and 3 weeks latter we enjoyed about 10 pounds of chicken salad.
But my biggest fear is what I am doing tonight...on this scary Halloween night...writing this blog.
Yes, writing scares the patooties out of me.
There are a ton of reasons. All of them are wrapped up in "What Ifs?" What if I can't express myself correctly? What if no one reads it? What if they do and expect lots more? What if I'm boring? What if....What if....What if....? The Goliath of these "What If Giants" is what if... I give up again....quit again...hide again?
So, I can sit here in my fear or be brave and face those "What If Giants," including my Goliath.
I am going to throw a stone at my giant Goliath. The stone of forgiveness. I am going to forgive myself. I forgive myself for quiting, for leaving you readers, and for disobeying GOD.
I know HE has forgiven me...it is time for me to forgive me too.
By throwing that stone, I am able to sit here tonight and finish this post without fear. It doesn't matter if you read it. It doesn't matter if you like it....I hope you do...but honestly it doesn't matter. Tonight, it doesn't matter if my grammar is correct, or if I am communicating beautifully. What matters is that I obey GOD and write. I'm throwing the stone and leaving the results up to HIM. Because it is for HIM, by HIM, and through HIM that I can even breathe and be FEARLESS and write.
Psalm 34:4 "I sought the LORD, and HE answered me and delivered me from all my fears."