Saturday, October 24, 2009

I Need To......

Hey Y'all,
I need to...

1) Let you know that Mike finally had his physical! Barr any unforeseen blood work problems, he passed with flying colors! Next step is for his recruiter to now gather all his paperwork and get it ready for the November boards. PRAY, PRAY, PRAY! Our recruiter's record on correct paperwork is not so great...but I'm believing that He will be able to complete this task and get Mike before the boards....In NOVEMBER!

The second thing I need to do is apologize to you my friends and readers. After my last post, a few of my dear friends pointed out a few things to me. I am so grateful to have friends who feel they can warn me of patterns, or miss-steps they see me making. God has blessed me with such friends and I love Him for this blessing. I love them for the obedience, courage and love it takes to confront a friend.

What I need to apologize for is....while I have been open and sharing about the struggles this past year, especially my anger and stress, I have not been as open about the peace or blessings that have also come. I would give you little snippets. But after looking back over my post since Mike lost his job last January....well...lets just say...I don't sound at peace or as joyful of my life a I am. God has blessed us tremendously! While I have been learning to be real and open about my struggles and feelings....because I used to be that lady with the smile on her face all the know us we look like we are full of faith or just silly...I quit sharing how God moves and blesses me. How that my faith is real, and I serve a God who loves me so much! A God who even though Mike and I neither one has had a full time job since January, we still have no credit card debt. How He has blessed us with great friends and family. How we have all stayed healthy with little to no insurance right now. How He continues to provide....I don't understand it...bills being drafted later or earlier when the money is in the bank...I don't even try to figure it out anymore...all I know is that even though there are no extras..there have been no loses. He has kept us feed. And while I complain and worry and put those feelings out here for you to see, I hold back on the peace. But let me share this loud and is not the is not the fact that friends and family have been so supportive and helpful...its not the miracles...its not the signs of His is His presence in the midst of all these storms...that is what brings the peace. All these other things are the result of His presence. I thank Him for them all and they have been immeasurable! But it has been HIS presence even when I was complaining and fussing, writing out for you see my stomping foot here and on FB...even as I typed each exclamation mark...I felt HIM. I felt HIS arms holding me and letting me hit HIS chest. I felt HIS gentle, "Shhhhhh it's alright, I've got you." What I failed often to do is to also type this into my post. I can't be real about one but not about the other. So today I apologize and promise that I will try to be better about being real about all things...not just the good or the bad....all things.

So now I need to give HIM THE GLORY IN ALL THINGS!

Thanks for listening.
I love you

1 comment:

Amy said...

This is the reason that I love coming to read your blog even though I have never commented before. You are so real and honest. I have always been the girl wear that stain glassed mask making everyone think I had id all together while on the inside I was dealing with depression and sucide thoughts. Slowly I am learning that I can share those feelings and not run everyone off... most of all God will always be there.