Hey Y'all
No new news yet on the Army, so I'm going to get right to it!
I don't know about you, but sometimes I struggle with what I believe others think about me...including God.
I've been to seminary.....even graduated with an Master's of Divinity in Christian Ed. So I know the correct faith terms and theology. I can quote you chapter and verse on most of the scriptures about God's love for us.
I don't question His love for me at all.
I don't question His love for the world either.
Sometimes....I question my own worth in His eyes. Examples: When I've grumped at Zoie or Mike, When I look in the mirror and see my unconquered struggles with my height verses my width problem, (*_*) or when I put too many other things in front of my time with Him. As these questions hit me...only for a few minutes/hours sometimes...I rely on my ministerial training and "my chosen to fight verses." I even go to my own experience as a mother and how my like/love for Zoie doesn't change when she truly lets me down. And even on my best days as a mom, it is so minuscule, that it isn't even able to be picked up by the most powerful scope man has ever developed, compared to God as a parent.
Alas...the fact still remains that sometimes I don't feel loved, liked or special.
This is a lie-bondage! It can only be broken by believing the Truth and only the Truth....God's Truth.
In my Sweet Tuesday's (isn't that a cute name y'all?) Bible study, we are going through Jennifer Rothschild's Finger Prints of God. It is amazing! We are on week four already and I have learned so much. One thing that I have added to my arsenal in this fight I've described above is from week One. I just can't get it out of my head or my praise.
It is taken from the creation story. Now I need to confess that looking at the creation story I was a little sceptical about learning anything. (PRIDE) Because I have written that story and have dissected it many many many many times over the past 13 years writing the Access Bible Study Special Ed. Curriculum for LifeWay. But in all those years, I had never noticed this one tiny tidbit of a fact.
God spoke all of creation into being....everything that is recorded about the creation of the world...He spoke into being...except you and me. Look in Genesis 2:7; 21-22. In these verses God formed man and woman.
HE USED HIS HANDS!
I don't know about you...but if God could speak all of creation into being...including light..but chose to form me with HIS HANDS! Well! That just puts a whole new light on what I think He thinks of me...and you.
I've decided to try something and I am hoping you will join me. In one of our counseling sessions at Grace Life International, we were given a handout on what God thinks of me as a believer...a new creation through Jesus. There are 66 verses on this handout from the New Testament relating to what God thinks about us. I am going to post one or two a week and lets discuss these together.
What do you think? Are you interested in these 66 verses? Want to be surprised at what God thinks about you?
I think we are all going to be amazed and astounded.
Love ya!
Pamela
Friday, October 30, 2009
Saturday, October 24, 2009
I Need To......
Hey Y'all,
I need to...
1) Let you know that Mike finally had his physical! Barr any unforeseen blood work problems, he passed with flying colors! Next step is for his recruiter to now gather all his paperwork and get it ready for the November boards. PRAY, PRAY, PRAY! Our recruiter's record on correct paperwork is not so great...but I'm believing that He will be able to complete this task and get Mike before the boards....In NOVEMBER!
The second thing I need to do is apologize to you my friends and readers. After my last post, a few of my dear friends pointed out a few things to me. I am so grateful to have friends who feel they can warn me of patterns, or miss-steps they see me making. God has blessed me with such friends and I love Him for this blessing. I love them for the obedience, courage and love it takes to confront a friend.
What I need to apologize for is....while I have been open and sharing about the struggles this past year, especially my anger and stress, I have not been as open about the peace or blessings that have also come. I would give you little snippets. But after looking back over my post since Mike lost his job last January....well...lets just say...I don't sound at peace or as joyful of my life a I am. God has blessed us tremendously! While I have been learning to be real and open about my struggles and feelings....because I used to be that lady with the smile on her face all the time...you know us we look like we are full of faith or just silly...I quit sharing how God moves and blesses me. How that my faith is real, and I serve a God who loves me so much! A God who even though Mike and I neither one has had a full time job since January, we still have no credit card debt. How He has blessed us with great friends and family. How we have all stayed healthy with little to no insurance right now. How He continues to provide....I don't understand it...bills being drafted later or earlier when the money is in the bank...I don't even try to figure it out anymore...all I know is that even though there are no extras..there have been no loses. He has kept us feed. And while I complain and worry and put those feelings out here for you to see, I hold back on the peace. But let me share this loud and clear....it is not the money...it is not the fact that friends and family have been so supportive and helpful...its not the miracles...its not the signs of His working...it is His presence in the midst of all these storms...that is what brings the peace. All these other things are the result of His presence. I thank Him for them all and they have been immeasurable! But it has been HIS presence even when I was complaining and fussing, writing out for you see my stomping foot here and on FB...even as I typed each exclamation mark...I felt HIM. I felt HIS arms holding me and letting me hit HIS chest. I felt HIS gentle, "Shhhhhh it's alright, I've got you." What I failed often to do is to also type this into my post. I can't be real about one but not about the other. So today I apologize and promise that I will try to be better about being real about all things...not just the good or the bad....all things.
So now I need to give HIM THE GLORY IN ALL THINGS!
Thanks for listening.
I love you
Pamela
I need to...
1) Let you know that Mike finally had his physical! Barr any unforeseen blood work problems, he passed with flying colors! Next step is for his recruiter to now gather all his paperwork and get it ready for the November boards. PRAY, PRAY, PRAY! Our recruiter's record on correct paperwork is not so great...but I'm believing that He will be able to complete this task and get Mike before the boards....In NOVEMBER!
The second thing I need to do is apologize to you my friends and readers. After my last post, a few of my dear friends pointed out a few things to me. I am so grateful to have friends who feel they can warn me of patterns, or miss-steps they see me making. God has blessed me with such friends and I love Him for this blessing. I love them for the obedience, courage and love it takes to confront a friend.
What I need to apologize for is....while I have been open and sharing about the struggles this past year, especially my anger and stress, I have not been as open about the peace or blessings that have also come. I would give you little snippets. But after looking back over my post since Mike lost his job last January....well...lets just say...I don't sound at peace or as joyful of my life a I am. God has blessed us tremendously! While I have been learning to be real and open about my struggles and feelings....because I used to be that lady with the smile on her face all the time...you know us we look like we are full of faith or just silly...I quit sharing how God moves and blesses me. How that my faith is real, and I serve a God who loves me so much! A God who even though Mike and I neither one has had a full time job since January, we still have no credit card debt. How He has blessed us with great friends and family. How we have all stayed healthy with little to no insurance right now. How He continues to provide....I don't understand it...bills being drafted later or earlier when the money is in the bank...I don't even try to figure it out anymore...all I know is that even though there are no extras..there have been no loses. He has kept us feed. And while I complain and worry and put those feelings out here for you to see, I hold back on the peace. But let me share this loud and clear....it is not the money...it is not the fact that friends and family have been so supportive and helpful...its not the miracles...its not the signs of His working...it is His presence in the midst of all these storms...that is what brings the peace. All these other things are the result of His presence. I thank Him for them all and they have been immeasurable! But it has been HIS presence even when I was complaining and fussing, writing out for you see my stomping foot here and on FB...even as I typed each exclamation mark...I felt HIM. I felt HIS arms holding me and letting me hit HIS chest. I felt HIS gentle, "Shhhhhh it's alright, I've got you." What I failed often to do is to also type this into my post. I can't be real about one but not about the other. So today I apologize and promise that I will try to be better about being real about all things...not just the good or the bad....all things.
So now I need to give HIM THE GLORY IN ALL THINGS!
Thanks for listening.
I love you
Pamela
Thursday, October 15, 2009
Mad! Mad! Mad!
Hi Y'all,
I wish that I could post an amazingly grace and spirit filled devotion today, but the truth is I can't. I am not feeling grace or spirit filled myself right now. I am angry!
No, I am MAD!
Mike went down to Fort Jackson last night...was sent to the wrong hotel...after finally getting to the right hotel, waking at 3:45 this morning and going over to Fort Jackson....he was informed that our recruiter had not sent the proper forms and Mike was not on the docket.
In other words...no physical!
Time off of work...for nothing.
Gas to and from Fort Jackson...for nothing.
People getting up at 4:00 this morn to pray for Mike's physical...seems to be wasted.
(I know prayer is never wasted....but it seems that way today.)
The best we can hope for is that he can get a call next week.
Here's the thing...we need to get in the Army or God needs to provide one of us with a full time job!
I fully believe that God takes care of His children. I fully believe that He will not allow us to go hungry. I am scared where He may take us down to however. Will we have to sell our home because we can't pay for it? Will we have to sell my antiques just so we can pay bills? Folks...it's that serious.
I am thinking about putting a Victrola I have dated between 1915 and 1920 up for sale. It is in great shape. Its a table top, hand crank Victrola with records. It still works!
God has never let me down...even when I was a Semester/Innovator missionary in my 20's. I was only getting $50 a month from what was then known as the Southern Baptist Home Mission Board. God provided...never got in dept.
I have to believe He will do it again.
What if He don't?
What if we lose our house?
Like Those three heroes of old standing before the fiery furnace...Even if He doesn't I will still serve Him.
Thanks for letting me vent.
Maybe now I can give grace and feel the Spirit's own forgiveness in my life today.
I love you
Pamela
I wish that I could post an amazingly grace and spirit filled devotion today, but the truth is I can't. I am not feeling grace or spirit filled myself right now. I am angry!
No, I am MAD!
Mike went down to Fort Jackson last night...was sent to the wrong hotel...after finally getting to the right hotel, waking at 3:45 this morning and going over to Fort Jackson....he was informed that our recruiter had not sent the proper forms and Mike was not on the docket.
In other words...no physical!
Time off of work...for nothing.
Gas to and from Fort Jackson...for nothing.
People getting up at 4:00 this morn to pray for Mike's physical...seems to be wasted.
(I know prayer is never wasted....but it seems that way today.)
The best we can hope for is that he can get a call next week.
Here's the thing...we need to get in the Army or God needs to provide one of us with a full time job!
I fully believe that God takes care of His children. I fully believe that He will not allow us to go hungry. I am scared where He may take us down to however. Will we have to sell our home because we can't pay for it? Will we have to sell my antiques just so we can pay bills? Folks...it's that serious.
I am thinking about putting a Victrola I have dated between 1915 and 1920 up for sale. It is in great shape. Its a table top, hand crank Victrola with records. It still works!
God has never let me down...even when I was a Semester/Innovator missionary in my 20's. I was only getting $50 a month from what was then known as the Southern Baptist Home Mission Board. God provided...never got in dept.
I have to believe He will do it again.
What if He don't?
What if we lose our house?
Like Those three heroes of old standing before the fiery furnace...Even if He doesn't I will still serve Him.
Thanks for letting me vent.
Maybe now I can give grace and feel the Spirit's own forgiveness in my life today.
I love you
Pamela
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
A Quick Praise!
Hey Y'all,
I know I haven't posted in a while. It has been because I have been working on a LifeWay deadline, fighting back issues again, and also testing and subbing at school. Really anything to make money...it's tight with both Mike and I working part-time.
Which leads me to this quick praise
Drum roll please....
Mike got cleared to do his Physical with the army! He goes next Thursday morning 5:30 Eastern Time!
God moved the wall and we are set to complete his packet.
What a mighty God we serve!
This doesn't mean we are in....we just get to make the next steps.
But we so believe that an Army Chaplain is what God had in His mind when He first thought of Mike.
Celebrating High today
Pamela
I know I haven't posted in a while. It has been because I have been working on a LifeWay deadline, fighting back issues again, and also testing and subbing at school. Really anything to make money...it's tight with both Mike and I working part-time.
Which leads me to this quick praise
Drum roll please....
Mike got cleared to do his Physical with the army! He goes next Thursday morning 5:30 Eastern Time!
God moved the wall and we are set to complete his packet.
What a mighty God we serve!
This doesn't mean we are in....we just get to make the next steps.
But we so believe that an Army Chaplain is what God had in His mind when He first thought of Mike.
Celebrating High today
Pamela
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