Thursday, December 31, 2009

A Very Humble Bumble

Hey Y'all,
I know you must think I either fell off the earth, or I'm heartless for not posting since December 8th. I don't blame you. Many times, I have anxiously went to blogs I enjoyed, only to find they had not been updated in a while. I wish I had some brilliant explanation. Truth is I don't. The only thing I can say is that every time I sat at the computer to blog, or even visit other's blogs...I didn't. I would look at the computer, check e-mail and get right back up to go do something else. I wish I could say it was a spiritual know like focusing on Jesus, or fasting from the computer. Nope! Wouldn't be true. I have missed my time with you...actually I missed it a lot. I can truthfully say that there were many times I sat down, with every intention of visiting with your blogs and catching up with my own. The gut honest truth is I don't know why I couldn't/wouldn't do it. It made me sad when I'd get back up without communicating with you. It wasn't depression or anything like that either. We had an awesome Christmas! The best in years! It wasn't that I was overwhelmed by holiday business. We were busy, but not overly so. In fact, it was an easier holiday than most. I just don't know why.

Which makes it harder to ask you to understand, when I don't even know. So all I can say is, I'm sorry. I missed you dearly...missed that part of me that writes too. I know that whatever hindered me before is now gone. I know the words and the motivation are strong here I sit. Writing out my apologies and hoping that with time, I can once again gain your trust and your attendance to this blog.

I do know that this time away make that begging God to explain to me what was going on...has refocused my direction. Before, I was doing a mixture of journal/devotion. I had even started a Bible verse study on what God thinks of us. I think this type of stuff needs to stay. I need to remain personal, devotional, and I would love for us to study together. The difference is that it was haphazard, not consistent. Sometimes I would blog everyday, every two or three days, sometimes only once a week, sometimes it would go as long as 2 weeks. The blogs had no real set order or agenda...just whatever came to my mind that day. I believe that one thing God did do for me in this period of silence, is teach me that I have been too casual in my commitment, too random, too spontaneous.

So here is where I'm at now. I am going to be more intentional in the Bible study and devotional areas. If you will again join me, we will continue the study about our identity in God's eyes starting Monday Jan. 4th. I will continue the Bible study every other post, with a personal devotional in between. Please feel free to hold me accountable to this. I also want to interact more with each post by commenting back to you about the post myself.

I know God has called me to write and I have run from it long enough. As I sit here with you, I am beginning to realize that it might have been my own feelings of unworthiness, and fear that has kept me from writing to even you my friends. Pray for me. I love communicating with words...written and oral. I love you all dearly too. So expect visits from me and expect me to be here when you visit me. Deal?

Update: No brace, long story that I will share soon. Mike has completed having his feet looked at and we are now waiting again....for our recruiter to receive our data and complete our packet. February boards....February boards...February boards.

Zoie is doing great! Singing all over the place now. Her singing schedule leaves mine in the dust!
Thanks for loving us and praying for us.

My goal this year is to ENDEAVOR TO THE END IN 2010!


Tuesday, December 8, 2009

What to Bring?

Hey Y'all,
I still don't have the brace yet and we are still in a waiting game again with the army. So keep praying.

Here is a Fun Christmas Question for you.

The Wise men brought Baby Jesus Gold, Frankincense, and myrrh. These represented the best gifts they could offer.

If you could be a wise man/woman today what would you bring?

Also here is a quick look at our next verse in our Bible Study
Acts 1:8

Read my answer and the study next post.
Love you all very much!

Thursday, December 3, 2009

True Green!

John 15:1 & 5

I can not believe that it has been a whole week since I last posted…and that was just a Thanksgiving shout out!
My life has gone crazy since I started this Bible study about our true identities...according to God! I owe you an apology. I gave in to my feelings and my want to(s) and did not continue coming to this study every day like I should have…needed to do even for myself. I let my own emotions dictate my time instead of taking every thought/emotion under the cause of Christ. I let myself down and you down. But I committ to you now to not let that happen again.

I am receiving the brace today. This has been an emotional hurricane in my life. I shift from strong winds pushing me in many directions to floods of feelings of inadequacy, rejection, and hopelessness. Then I moved into the eye of the storm and found God’s peace and even see a glimpse of His directing hands. Today, I am on the back side of this storm. Though it is still emotionally tumultuous, maybe the worst yet, I know we are nearing the end….where the storm has past and we are left to clean up and rebuild. This time to be found stronger and surer. So continue to pray for me as God rebuilds, reshapes and makes me stronger.

Our verse/s today is John 15:1 & 5. “I am the vine and my father is the vineyard keeper.” “I am the vine; you are the branches. The one who remains in Me and I in him produces much fruit, because you can do nothing without Me.” (CSB)

At first when I looked at it I slightly groaned….like Zoie feels sometimes of Bible stories she has heard many times….I thought, "I know this one too well…What can I learn from this…I’ve even memorized it so that I can say it in my sleep." And just as I tell her, the Father told me, “My Word is living look at it again.”
Like the other verses, I started by asking myself, “What does this say about me?” I decided to look at myself as a branch. If I were a true branch on a vine, what would my identity be?
Nothing…apart from the vine. OK, I know you know that...but stick with me for just a moment. Take the branch away from the vine and it becomes just a stick. No longer a branch a stick! No more life comes into it. No food. No water. Sunlight, instead of giving it life, becomes its mortal enemy because the sun will quickly dry a stick out to brittle decay. There is no protection. Nothing left but dried up death.

Looking at this from where I am standing in my hurricane, I gain strength and hope. Because right now I feel emotionally spent…even hungry. Who is my source? Jesus! Not only will I live because Of Him but I will also THRIVE. As the Vine He passes ALL of His same nutrients Including power
Including hope
Including peace
Including trust
Including wisdom
Including ALL HIS RICHES IN GLORY to me!

Look at this verse from the Message “I am the Real Vine and my Father is the Farmer.” “I am the Vine, you are the branches. When you’re joined with me and I with you, the relation is intimate and organic, the harvest is sure to be abundant. Separated, You can’t produce a thing.” (The Message)

In today’s world, where we are looking to be more green…more natural…more organic, how can you be more organic than Jesus…the Alpha and Omega?
The beginning and the end has provided for our every need. Period! The End!

I wrote this post this morning, but could not post it until tonight. I got the brace but it isn't right. I have a call into the doctor, and am now waiting for her to call back. The brace has left me with more pain and less function in even my good leg. Please pray. I needed these verses today. I am not going to wear the brace as it is, so we will see what God can do! He is my Real Vine today.

I love you dear friends.
Please comment on what it means to you to be a branch on the Divine Vine!