Hey Y'all,
I know you must think I either fell off the earth, or I'm heartless for not posting since December 8th. I don't blame you. Many times, I have anxiously went to blogs I enjoyed, only to find they had not been updated in a while. I wish I had some brilliant explanation. Truth is I don't. The only thing I can say is that every time I sat at the computer to blog, or even visit other's blogs...I didn't. I would look at the computer, check e-mail and get right back up to go do something else. I wish I could say it was a spiritual thing...you know like focusing on Jesus, or fasting from the computer. Nope! Wouldn't be true. I have missed my time with you...actually I missed it a lot. I can truthfully say that there were many times I sat down, with every intention of visiting with your blogs and catching up with my own. The gut honest truth is I don't know why I couldn't/wouldn't do it. It made me sad when I'd get back up without communicating with you. It wasn't depression or anything like that either. We had an awesome Christmas! The best in years! It wasn't that I was overwhelmed by holiday business. We were busy, but not overly so. In fact, it was an easier holiday than most. I just don't know why.
Which makes it harder to ask you to understand, when I don't even know. So all I can say is, I'm sorry. I missed you dearly...missed that part of me that writes too. I know that whatever hindered me before is now gone. I know the words and the motivation are strong again...so here I sit. Writing out my apologies and hoping that with time, I can once again gain your trust and your attendance to this blog.
I do know that this time away praying...no make that begging God to explain to me what was going on...has refocused my direction. Before, I was doing a mixture of journal/devotion. I had even started a Bible verse study on what God thinks of us. I think this type of stuff needs to stay. I need to remain personal, devotional, and I would love for us to study together. The difference is that it was haphazard, not consistent. Sometimes I would blog everyday, every two or three days, sometimes only once a week, sometimes it would go as long as 2 weeks. The blogs had no real set order or agenda...just whatever came to my mind that day. I believe that one thing God did do for me in this period of silence, is teach me that I have been too casual in my commitment, too random, too spontaneous.
So here is where I'm at now. I am going to be more intentional in the Bible study and devotional areas. If you will again join me, we will continue the study about our identity in God's eyes starting Monday Jan. 4th. I will continue the Bible study every other post, with a personal devotional in between. Please feel free to hold me accountable to this. I also want to interact more with each post by commenting back to you about the post myself.
I know God has called me to write and I have run from it long enough. As I sit here with you, I am beginning to realize that it might have been my own feelings of unworthiness, and fear that has kept me from writing to even you my friends. Pray for me. I love communicating with words...written and oral. I love you all dearly too. So expect visits from me and expect me to be here when you visit me. Deal?
Update: No brace, long story that I will share soon. Mike has completed having his feet looked at and we are now waiting again....for our recruiter to receive our data and complete our packet. February boards....February boards...February boards.
Zoie is doing great! Singing all over the place now. Her singing schedule leaves mine in the dust!
Thanks for loving us and praying for us.
My goal this year is to ENDEAVOR TO THE END IN 2010!
Pamela
Thursday, December 31, 2009
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
What to Bring?
Hey Y'all,
I still don't have the brace yet and we are still in a waiting game again with the army. So keep praying.
Here is a Fun Christmas Question for you.
The Wise men brought Baby Jesus Gold, Frankincense, and myrrh. These represented the best gifts they could offer.
If you could be a wise man/woman today what would you bring?
Also here is a quick look at our next verse in our Bible Study
Acts 1:8
Read my answer and the study next post.
Love you all very much!
Pamela
I still don't have the brace yet and we are still in a waiting game again with the army. So keep praying.
Here is a Fun Christmas Question for you.
The Wise men brought Baby Jesus Gold, Frankincense, and myrrh. These represented the best gifts they could offer.
If you could be a wise man/woman today what would you bring?
Also here is a quick look at our next verse in our Bible Study
Acts 1:8
Read my answer and the study next post.
Love you all very much!
Pamela
Thursday, December 3, 2009
True Green!
John 15:1 & 5
I can not believe that it has been a whole week since I last posted…and that was just a Thanksgiving shout out!
My life has gone crazy since I started this Bible study about our true identities...according to God! I owe you an apology. I gave in to my feelings and my want to(s) and did not continue coming to this study every day like I should have…needed to do even for myself. I let my own emotions dictate my time instead of taking every thought/emotion under the cause of Christ. I let myself down and you down. But I committ to you now to not let that happen again.
I am receiving the brace today. This has been an emotional hurricane in my life. I shift from strong winds pushing me in many directions to floods of feelings of inadequacy, rejection, and hopelessness. Then I moved into the eye of the storm and found God’s peace and even see a glimpse of His directing hands. Today, I am on the back side of this storm. Though it is still emotionally tumultuous, maybe the worst yet, I know we are nearing the end….where the storm has past and we are left to clean up and rebuild. This time to be found stronger and surer. So continue to pray for me as God rebuilds, reshapes and makes me stronger.
Our verse/s today is John 15:1 & 5. “I am the vine and my father is the vineyard keeper.” “I am the vine; you are the branches. The one who remains in Me and I in him produces much fruit, because you can do nothing without Me.” (CSB)
At first when I looked at it I slightly groaned….like Zoie feels sometimes of Bible stories she has heard many times….I thought, "I know this one too well…What can I learn from this…I’ve even memorized it so that I can say it in my sleep." And just as I tell her, the Father told me, “My Word is living look at it again.”
Wow!
Like the other verses, I started by asking myself, “What does this say about me?” I decided to look at myself as a branch. If I were a true branch on a vine, what would my identity be?
Nothing…apart from the vine. OK, I know you know that...but stick with me for just a moment. Take the branch away from the vine and it becomes just a stick. No longer a branch a stick! No more life comes into it. No food. No water. Sunlight, instead of giving it life, becomes its mortal enemy because the sun will quickly dry a stick out to brittle decay. There is no protection. Nothing left but dried up death.
Looking at this from where I am standing in my hurricane, I gain strength and hope. Because right now I feel emotionally spent…even hungry. Who is my source? Jesus! Not only will I live because Of Him but I will also THRIVE. As the Vine He passes ALL of His same nutrients Including power
Including hope
Including peace
Including trust
Including wisdom
Including ALL HIS RICHES IN GLORY to me!
Look at this verse from the Message “I am the Real Vine and my Father is the Farmer.” “I am the Vine, you are the branches. When you’re joined with me and I with you, the relation is intimate and organic, the harvest is sure to be abundant. Separated, You can’t produce a thing.” (The Message)
In today’s world, where we are looking to be more green…more natural…more organic, how can you be more organic than Jesus…the Alpha and Omega?
The beginning and the end has provided for our every need. Period! The End!
I wrote this post this morning, but could not post it until tonight. I got the brace but it isn't right. I have a call into the doctor, and am now waiting for her to call back. The brace has left me with more pain and less function in even my good leg. Please pray. I needed these verses today. I am not going to wear the brace as it is, so we will see what God can do! He is my Real Vine today.
I love you dear friends.
Please comment on what it means to you to be a branch on the Divine Vine!
Pamela
I can not believe that it has been a whole week since I last posted…and that was just a Thanksgiving shout out!
My life has gone crazy since I started this Bible study about our true identities...according to God! I owe you an apology. I gave in to my feelings and my want to(s) and did not continue coming to this study every day like I should have…needed to do even for myself. I let my own emotions dictate my time instead of taking every thought/emotion under the cause of Christ. I let myself down and you down. But I committ to you now to not let that happen again.
I am receiving the brace today. This has been an emotional hurricane in my life. I shift from strong winds pushing me in many directions to floods of feelings of inadequacy, rejection, and hopelessness. Then I moved into the eye of the storm and found God’s peace and even see a glimpse of His directing hands. Today, I am on the back side of this storm. Though it is still emotionally tumultuous, maybe the worst yet, I know we are nearing the end….where the storm has past and we are left to clean up and rebuild. This time to be found stronger and surer. So continue to pray for me as God rebuilds, reshapes and makes me stronger.
Our verse/s today is John 15:1 & 5. “I am the vine and my father is the vineyard keeper.” “I am the vine; you are the branches. The one who remains in Me and I in him produces much fruit, because you can do nothing without Me.” (CSB)
At first when I looked at it I slightly groaned….like Zoie feels sometimes of Bible stories she has heard many times….I thought, "I know this one too well…What can I learn from this…I’ve even memorized it so that I can say it in my sleep." And just as I tell her, the Father told me, “My Word is living look at it again.”
Wow!
Like the other verses, I started by asking myself, “What does this say about me?” I decided to look at myself as a branch. If I were a true branch on a vine, what would my identity be?
Nothing…apart from the vine. OK, I know you know that...but stick with me for just a moment. Take the branch away from the vine and it becomes just a stick. No longer a branch a stick! No more life comes into it. No food. No water. Sunlight, instead of giving it life, becomes its mortal enemy because the sun will quickly dry a stick out to brittle decay. There is no protection. Nothing left but dried up death.
Looking at this from where I am standing in my hurricane, I gain strength and hope. Because right now I feel emotionally spent…even hungry. Who is my source? Jesus! Not only will I live because Of Him but I will also THRIVE. As the Vine He passes ALL of His same nutrients Including power
Including hope
Including peace
Including trust
Including wisdom
Including ALL HIS RICHES IN GLORY to me!
Look at this verse from the Message “I am the Real Vine and my Father is the Farmer.” “I am the Vine, you are the branches. When you’re joined with me and I with you, the relation is intimate and organic, the harvest is sure to be abundant. Separated, You can’t produce a thing.” (The Message)
In today’s world, where we are looking to be more green…more natural…more organic, how can you be more organic than Jesus…the Alpha and Omega?
The beginning and the end has provided for our every need. Period! The End!
I wrote this post this morning, but could not post it until tonight. I got the brace but it isn't right. I have a call into the doctor, and am now waiting for her to call back. The brace has left me with more pain and less function in even my good leg. Please pray. I needed these verses today. I am not going to wear the brace as it is, so we will see what God can do! He is my Real Vine today.
I love you dear friends.
Please comment on what it means to you to be a branch on the Divine Vine!
Pamela
Thursday, November 26, 2009
Thank-a-gobble!
Happy Thanksgiving Day everybody!
Praise the Lord!
Eat a little
Praise the Lord
Eat a little
Praise the Lord
Praise the Lord
Eat a Lot!
Today we are still free to thank God and celebrate our Christian heritage.
Do not worry about tomorrow, live in the Thanksgiving now today!
Love ya.
I'm going to gobble on over to my mom's, so I can gobble up this whole worry free, Thanksgiving day!
Pamela
Praise the Lord!
Eat a little
Praise the Lord
Eat a little
Praise the Lord
Praise the Lord
Eat a Lot!
Today we are still free to thank God and celebrate our Christian heritage.
Do not worry about tomorrow, live in the Thanksgiving now today!
Love ya.
I'm going to gobble on over to my mom's, so I can gobble up this whole worry free, Thanksgiving day!
Pamela
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
Meanwhile....Back at the Bible Study
Hey Y'all,
I am so sorry it took me so long to get back here.
It has been a weird, prayerful....prayerful....did I say prayerful....week.
I have been fitted for my brace and will get it in about a week. It was hard to say the least, but God was there and that made it easier. Thank you so much for the prayers and words of encouragement. They have been overwhelming.
I realized something through this process. God's timing and sense of humor can not be matched. Here I am doing a Blog Bible study on what God thinks of us....our identity through His eyes. I wanted to do this to get a truthful understanding (As much as possible this side of Glory) of my own identity. So here I am in the third verse of this study, when I find out about having to once again wear a brace. Here's what God has done....He has shown me that my interpretation of myself....my identity...is completely entwined with my Cerebral Palsy (CP). Truth is...that's just a part of who I am. But in my mind...every blessing, every trial, everything is wrapped tightly in my C.P. Want some examples?
God gave me the parents I had because of my CP
God turned the heart of a wonderful and handsome young man so that he'd be willing to marry a girl with CP.
God blessed me with understanding of being someone with a special need so that is what makes me a great consultant/writer for those with special needs.
God gave me a "Normal" healthy child because I had CP.
Everyone who knows me describes me first as "Pamela, you know the one with the limp...the handicapped woman."
Okay, listen carefully. None of these are true! Yes! God has blessed me with gifts for working and helping those with special needs. I do have a different kind of understanding because of my CP. BUT! My gifts are not because of my CP or even in spite of my CP. They are because God chose to give them to me. My parents were not chosen for me based solely on the fact I would have CP. Instead God Gave them the tools/gifts they would need for me...with or without CP.
Mike did not marry me as a pity for a girl with CP. He married me because he loves me. (We talked about this a lot this week....wow! I would have landed Mike with or without CP!)
Zoie was not born healthy based on anything about me....she is God's design and has nothing to do with me...except she blesses me with or without CP. And as for everyone describing me as the lady with the limp...according to several friends I've confronted about this....not even on their radar. Would not make the top 30 describing words they would use for me. In fact, you should have seen the look on their faces when I asked! How about that?
Had God not allowed me to go back into the brace, I would not have known these had been core beliefs/lies of mine. In some ways I was not even existing, but was instead some big old wad of CP.
So this Bible study is helping me to discover a new me...or should I say the real me. As I posted last time I am a child of God according to John 1:12. He has given me that right/ power. And with that right comes every blessing the King of Kings can give His child. (With or without CP!)I will post a new verse next post.
Thank you for listening and your prayers.
Now I must leave you with one more:
We got word yesterday from our recruiter that we have once again missed the deadline. We will not be going before the December boards, so all hope for the January school is now gone. We are now looking toward the February boards and the June school. Continue praying for us and we are continuing to believe that God is leading and providing during this journey.
I love you all!
Pamela
I am so sorry it took me so long to get back here.
It has been a weird, prayerful....prayerful....did I say prayerful....week.
I have been fitted for my brace and will get it in about a week. It was hard to say the least, but God was there and that made it easier. Thank you so much for the prayers and words of encouragement. They have been overwhelming.
I realized something through this process. God's timing and sense of humor can not be matched. Here I am doing a Blog Bible study on what God thinks of us....our identity through His eyes. I wanted to do this to get a truthful understanding (As much as possible this side of Glory) of my own identity. So here I am in the third verse of this study, when I find out about having to once again wear a brace. Here's what God has done....He has shown me that my interpretation of myself....my identity...is completely entwined with my Cerebral Palsy (CP). Truth is...that's just a part of who I am. But in my mind...every blessing, every trial, everything is wrapped tightly in my C.P. Want some examples?
God gave me the parents I had because of my CP
God turned the heart of a wonderful and handsome young man so that he'd be willing to marry a girl with CP.
God blessed me with understanding of being someone with a special need so that is what makes me a great consultant/writer for those with special needs.
God gave me a "Normal" healthy child because I had CP.
Everyone who knows me describes me first as "Pamela, you know the one with the limp...the handicapped woman."
Okay, listen carefully. None of these are true! Yes! God has blessed me with gifts for working and helping those with special needs. I do have a different kind of understanding because of my CP. BUT! My gifts are not because of my CP or even in spite of my CP. They are because God chose to give them to me. My parents were not chosen for me based solely on the fact I would have CP. Instead God Gave them the tools/gifts they would need for me...with or without CP.
Mike did not marry me as a pity for a girl with CP. He married me because he loves me. (We talked about this a lot this week....wow! I would have landed Mike with or without CP!)
Zoie was not born healthy based on anything about me....she is God's design and has nothing to do with me...except she blesses me with or without CP. And as for everyone describing me as the lady with the limp...according to several friends I've confronted about this....not even on their radar. Would not make the top 30 describing words they would use for me. In fact, you should have seen the look on their faces when I asked! How about that?
Had God not allowed me to go back into the brace, I would not have known these had been core beliefs/lies of mine. In some ways I was not even existing, but was instead some big old wad of CP.
So this Bible study is helping me to discover a new me...or should I say the real me. As I posted last time I am a child of God according to John 1:12. He has given me that right/ power. And with that right comes every blessing the King of Kings can give His child. (With or without CP!)I will post a new verse next post.
Thank you for listening and your prayers.
Now I must leave you with one more:
We got word yesterday from our recruiter that we have once again missed the deadline. We will not be going before the December boards, so all hope for the January school is now gone. We are now looking toward the February boards and the June school. Continue praying for us and we are continuing to believe that God is leading and providing during this journey.
I love you all!
Pamela
Monday, November 16, 2009
From Tears to Giggles
Hey Y'all,
Question: Do you think the Beautiful Swan ever felt like the Ugly Duckling again? What about when he turned old and the wings just wouldn't work anymore?
That's the way I felt at 1:30 today.
I had been having trouble with pain in my foot that is affected by the Cerebral Palsy. So today I went to the doctor to see what was happening.
I was expecting her to tell me that I had pulled or strained some ligaments.
I was expecting to have to wear one of those big boots for a few weeks.
I was not expecting what I heard.
I have arthritis in my foot....bad! If I am not put into a brace soon, my foot will not be able to function correctly and I will not be able to walk on it.
It is hard to describe what that word meant when I heard it.
BRACE!
AGAIN?
But Lord we conquered the brace...I haven't had to wear one since I was nine! 38 years is not what I prayed for...I asked to not have to wear another brace...forever!
That one word brought me to tears.
That one word brought me back to horrid feelings in my past.
After much praying and talking to family, God used another word to bring my tears to a giggle.
It is in our verse today
John 1:12 "But to all who did receive Him, He gave them the right to be children of God, to those who believe in His name."
As I've looked at this verse the last couple of days, one word kept sticking out to me..."right." Today in my tears, my dad, who has had a colostomy for the past 14 years, said I didn't have the "right" to complain. He did not mean I could not be sad. He did mean I could not mope or believe that this ended or disqualified me as a beautiful child of God.
I hung up and looked up in the Greek the word that halted my complaining spirit today and that has been ringing in my ears from John 1:12.
I was shocked...then I started giggling. Oh how God has a sense of humor, just when I needed it the most...He illustrates the meaning of that word...powerfully!
NT:1849
exousia (ex-oo-see'-ah); from NT:1832 (in the sense of ability); privilege, i.e. (subjectively) force, capacity, competency, freedom, or (objectively) mastery (concretely, magistrate, superhuman, potentate, token of control), delegated influence:
KJV - authority, jurisdiction, liberty, power, right, strength.
(Biblesoft's New Exhaustive Strong's Numbers and Concordance with Expanded Greek-Hebrew Dictionary. Copyright © 1994, 2003, 2006 Biblesoft, Inc. and International Bible Translators, Inc.)
The words highlighted in red are done by me.
I have the POWER to be God's child.
I do not have the POWER to complain.
WOW!
This is one SUPERHUMAN child of God who is going to embrace her brace and see what God is going to do. I will not turn back into an ugly duckling...but I might......
.....see if they have a brace in hot pink!
POTENTATE Child of GOD
Pamela
Did this make you giggle too?
Question: Do you think the Beautiful Swan ever felt like the Ugly Duckling again? What about when he turned old and the wings just wouldn't work anymore?
That's the way I felt at 1:30 today.
I had been having trouble with pain in my foot that is affected by the Cerebral Palsy. So today I went to the doctor to see what was happening.
I was expecting her to tell me that I had pulled or strained some ligaments.
I was expecting to have to wear one of those big boots for a few weeks.
I was not expecting what I heard.
I have arthritis in my foot....bad! If I am not put into a brace soon, my foot will not be able to function correctly and I will not be able to walk on it.
It is hard to describe what that word meant when I heard it.
BRACE!
AGAIN?
But Lord we conquered the brace...I haven't had to wear one since I was nine! 38 years is not what I prayed for...I asked to not have to wear another brace...forever!
That one word brought me to tears.
That one word brought me back to horrid feelings in my past.
After much praying and talking to family, God used another word to bring my tears to a giggle.
It is in our verse today
John 1:12 "But to all who did receive Him, He gave them the right to be children of God, to those who believe in His name."
As I've looked at this verse the last couple of days, one word kept sticking out to me..."right." Today in my tears, my dad, who has had a colostomy for the past 14 years, said I didn't have the "right" to complain. He did not mean I could not be sad. He did mean I could not mope or believe that this ended or disqualified me as a beautiful child of God.
I hung up and looked up in the Greek the word that halted my complaining spirit today and that has been ringing in my ears from John 1:12.
I was shocked...then I started giggling. Oh how God has a sense of humor, just when I needed it the most...He illustrates the meaning of that word...powerfully!
NT:1849
exousia (ex-oo-see'-ah); from NT:1832 (in the sense of ability); privilege, i.e. (subjectively) force, capacity, competency, freedom, or (objectively) mastery (concretely, magistrate, superhuman, potentate, token of control), delegated influence:
KJV - authority, jurisdiction, liberty, power, right, strength.
(Biblesoft's New Exhaustive Strong's Numbers and Concordance with Expanded Greek-Hebrew Dictionary. Copyright © 1994, 2003, 2006 Biblesoft, Inc. and International Bible Translators, Inc.)
The words highlighted in red are done by me.
I have the POWER to be God's child.
I do not have the POWER to complain.
WOW!
This is one SUPERHUMAN child of God who is going to embrace her brace and see what God is going to do. I will not turn back into an ugly duckling...but I might......
.....see if they have a brace in hot pink!
POTENTATE Child of GOD
Pamela
Did this make you giggle too?
Thursday, November 12, 2009
A Match or a Light House?
Hey Y'all,
This Bible study on what God thinks about us has been amazing! I have loved your comments on the verses I've posted so far...ain't God good!
" You are the light of the world---like a city on a hilltop that cannot be hidden." NLT
It was hard for me at first not to just accept and rely on the truths I've heard about this verse from other teachers and pastors. So much has been said about us being lights for God. I want, in this study, to ask myself what is God saying about me...you...and our Identity in Him. What does it say about my value to Him. Because this verse is so familiar and over used...I did go to to my interlinear Bible and look up the verse in Greek.
Something hit me: The first two words, "You Are..."
In the Greek this is a Second person present tense indicative verb. English slang translation:
This phrase is a statement of fact! (Indicative verb). This means that when Jesus said this about us His followers He meant that we ARE the light of the world...not that we can be...or gonna be...or was...or even trying to be.....we already ARE!
It is not what we do that makes us the light of the world....it is who we are....we belong to Him...He lives in us....We are because He is!
In both John 8:12 and John 9:5, Jesus says of Himself..."I am the Light of the world."
The reason Jesus calls me the light of the world is because I belong to Him. He is living and shinning through me and guess what.....Nothing I do changes that!
Light is important to God and us....It was the very first thing He spoke into being in our world.
I cannot stop the light. Even by trying to hide it under a basket....I will still shine...though not as bright.
But as y'all know, even an itty bittty match can light up a big O' dark room.
No matter what I think about me....I will still illuminate Jesus to the world...either as small as a match or as big as a light house! He says....I illuminate!
Love...love ...love this Bible study!
Leave some more comments here about what it means to you to be "The light Of The World."
New verse next post!
Wanting to be a light house!
Pamela
This Bible study on what God thinks about us has been amazing! I have loved your comments on the verses I've posted so far...ain't God good!
" You are the light of the world---like a city on a hilltop that cannot be hidden." NLT
It was hard for me at first not to just accept and rely on the truths I've heard about this verse from other teachers and pastors. So much has been said about us being lights for God. I want, in this study, to ask myself what is God saying about me...you...and our Identity in Him. What does it say about my value to Him. Because this verse is so familiar and over used...I did go to to my interlinear Bible and look up the verse in Greek.
Something hit me: The first two words, "You Are..."
In the Greek this is a Second person present tense indicative verb. English slang translation:
This phrase is a statement of fact! (Indicative verb). This means that when Jesus said this about us His followers He meant that we ARE the light of the world...not that we can be...or gonna be...or was...or even trying to be.....we already ARE!
It is not what we do that makes us the light of the world....it is who we are....we belong to Him...He lives in us....We are because He is!
In both John 8:12 and John 9:5, Jesus says of Himself..."I am the Light of the world."
The reason Jesus calls me the light of the world is because I belong to Him. He is living and shinning through me and guess what.....Nothing I do changes that!
Light is important to God and us....It was the very first thing He spoke into being in our world.
I cannot stop the light. Even by trying to hide it under a basket....I will still shine...though not as bright.
But as y'all know, even an itty bittty match can light up a big O' dark room.
No matter what I think about me....I will still illuminate Jesus to the world...either as small as a match or as big as a light house! He says....I illuminate!
Love...love ...love this Bible study!
Leave some more comments here about what it means to you to be "The light Of The World."
New verse next post!
Wanting to be a light house!
Pamela
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