A Very Humble Bumble

Hey Y'all,
I know you must think I either fell off the earth, or I'm heartless for not posting since December 8th. I don't blame you. Many times, I have anxiously went to blogs I enjoyed, only to find they had not been updated in a while. I wish I had some brilliant explanation. Truth is I don't. The only thing I can say is that every time I sat at the computer to blog, or even visit other's blogs...I didn't. I would look at the computer, check e-mail and get right back up to go do something else. I wish I could say it was a spiritual thing...you know like focusing on Jesus, or fasting from the computer. Nope! Wouldn't be true. I have missed my time with you...actually I missed it a lot. I can truthfully say that there were many times I sat down, with every intention of visiting with your blogs and catching up with my own. The gut honest truth is I don't know why I couldn't/wouldn't do it. It made me sad when I'd get back up without communicating with you. It wasn't depression or anything like that either. We had an awesome Christmas! The best in years! It wasn't that I was overwhelmed by holiday business. We were busy, but not overly so. In fact, it was an easier holiday than most. I just don't know why.

Which makes it harder to ask you to understand, when I don't even know. So all I can say is, I'm sorry. I missed you dearly...missed that part of me that writes too. I know that whatever hindered me before is now gone. I know the words and the motivation are strong again...so here I sit. Writing out my apologies and hoping that with time, I can once again gain your trust and your attendance to this blog.

I do know that this time away praying...no make that begging God to explain to me what was going on...has refocused my direction. Before, I was doing a mixture of journal/devotion. I had even started a Bible verse study on what God thinks of us. I think this type of stuff needs to stay. I need to remain personal, devotional, and I would love for us to study together. The difference is that it was haphazard, not consistent. Sometimes I would blog everyday, every two or three days, sometimes only once a week, sometimes it would go as long as 2 weeks. The blogs had no real set order or agenda...just whatever came to my mind that day. I believe that one thing God did do for me in this period of silence, is teach me that I have been too casual in my commitment, too random, too spontaneous.

So here is where I'm at now. I am going to be more intentional in the Bible study and devotional areas. If you will again join me, we will continue the study about our identity in God's eyes starting Monday Jan. 4th. I will continue the Bible study every other post, with a personal devotional in between. Please feel free to hold me accountable to this. I also want to interact more with each post by commenting back to you about the post myself.

I know God has called me to write and I have run from it long enough. As I sit here with you, I am beginning to realize that it might have been my own feelings of unworthiness, and fear that has kept me from writing to even you my friends. Pray for me. I love communicating with words...written and oral. I love you all dearly too. So expect visits from me and expect me to be here when you visit me. Deal?

Update: No brace, long story that I will share soon. Mike has completed having his feet looked at and we are now waiting again....for our recruiter to receive our data and complete our packet. February boards....February boards...February boards.

Zoie is doing great! Singing all over the place now. Her singing schedule leaves mine in the dust!
Thanks for loving us and praying for us.

My goal this year is to ENDEAVOR TO THE END IN 2010!

Pamela