I am being shaken like a morocco in a mariachi band! The good thing is that even though it does not feel good...it is for my good.
I have had a lot of shaking events this year, that have left me searching, exhausted, and even wounded. Here are some of the highlights:
My husband had 3 kidney stone procedures during February and March which left us with huge medical bills.
I lost my job.
Then on our Army Chaplain Conference/vacation, I fell...while running with Zoie...and broke my shoulder in 3 count them 3 places....a minimum of 13 weeks healing time then physical therapy and or possible surgery.
These things, compiled on top of each other, left me feeling both helpless and hopeless. I cried out to God and lamented much like King David in the Psalms or the prophets of old. "How long, O LORD!" or in the Hebrew " "Admathay Adonay!" (pronounced Ad-ma-tye A-do-nie!) It is said as a wail or shouting cry from the heart.
One night, I sat here in my office wailing to God...because of the pain in my shoulder, the pain of worrying over our finances, the pain of losing the job I so dearly loved, but mostly the pain of feeling helpless and alone. You can't help but feel helpless when you can't even go to the bathroom by yourself!
GOD took me to Hebrews 12...Yeah, the God loves those HE disciplines chapter. I did not feel that GOD was telling me all these things were punishment...that is not the GOD I know and love. I do believe HE was letting me know that there are some things in my life that needs to go....not as punishment but as cleansing, healing, and for my training as HIS child.
As I read these words, instead of feeling condemed, or punished, I felt an overwhelming since of GOD'S love for me. This time of "helplessness" would only be for a moment but the righteousness it produceses will last for eternity! Hebrews 12:25-28 says (in my own paraphrase) to heed GOD'S words carefully as HE shakes me until all that is left is what cannot be shaken.
I bowed in awe and expectation, absorbing and drowning in the love I suddenly felt. HE loves me enough to shake me until all that is left...is what can never be shaken!
Thank YOU GOD! Shake on! I am surrendering to being a morocco in the hands of THE GREATEST PERCUSSIONEST and even though it hurts...the music is becoming more beautiful everyday!